Wednesday, February 06, 2008

sleepless on winthrop


I've been sleeping terribly lately, which I'm sure is the root cause of my antsy-ness. We love to talk about 'root causes' in the not-for-profit world. I think the word 'antsy-ness' is made up. It means ants-in-your-pants, only in your head.

I know that I've been sleeping badly. I wake up cranky, tired and tangled up in my sheets. If the sheets were even still on the bed.

Last night I woke myself up; waving my arm, hitting the rods of my iron bed. In my dream I was trying to get someone's attention by waving furiously at them. I woke up frustrated, hot and my hand hurt. At midnight. I'd only been asleep for an hour, after blowing off all Fat Tuesday plans. And standing Cara up, to help her hang her paintings for a show. So I was feeling guilty also.

Woo hoo, pity party at my house. At midnight.

When I woke up again at 3:00, I decided to take action.

I know that I'm feeling restless, cranky and antsy because I'm overwhelmed.

So overwhelmed that I'd done absolutely nothing.

I made a list of everything I need to do in the next week. Broke it down, in an attempt to shake off the paralysis of fear.

I realized it was just like cleaning the cow barn when I was a kid. Overwhelmed by all of the manure, avoiding the project-project is a nice word for what we insisted was torture, like it was, well, what is was- shovelling poop (I can never bring myself to say shit).

Once we actually grabbed the shovels and started scooping it wasn't so bad.

I've got my list.

Now I just need a shovel.

7 comments:

Rachel said...

You have taken charge of things Nora! With that restless sleep pattern if you had a husband you would have knocked the poor man out of bed!

bad influence girl said...

Um, you just said shit.

The past few weeks I've been making a list of everything I need to do that week. It does help to get it out of your head.

And no, I never finish everything on the list. It's still satisfying to see a bunch of crossed-off items at the end of the week.

Kim said...

I hate Insomnia-land. Unfortunately, I am the mayor and a lifelong resident.

I frequently have the racing mind thing as well. Lists do help, but as with B.I.G., my list never seems to end.

Get some sleep, you!

Jerry said...

Nora said shit. I'm telling Sister Benedicta!

Insomnia...welcome to my world.

Cliff said...

I once asked a colleague how he had slept. We were attending a conference. He said, "Well my bed looked like I'd wrestled an alligator if tells you anything."
You're getting very, very sleepy.

Jamie Dawn said...

Sorry you've not been sleeping well.
I talked with my MIL in MO last night, and she had two nights in a row of barely getting any sleep... clock watching.... miserable. Maybe sleeplessness is going around like the flu.
If so, I don't want to catch it.
Well, you've made your list. Now you can work hard to not get most of it done which will cause you to lose even more sleep.
Aren't I optimistic??

Jamie Dawn said...

Have YOU been eating Crabby Patties??
(Those come from Spongebob Squarepants cartoons.)