I thought I'd start today off with some Halloween jokes.
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
[and maybe hitting the side of the barn]
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream
What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist
What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Grandma monster
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf
What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula
What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Have a goofy day!
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
[and maybe hitting the side of the barn]
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream
What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist
What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Grandma monster
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf
What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula
What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Have a goofy day!
10 comments:
You forgot:
Why can't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have halloweenies.
Which, of course, makes absolutely no sense, because everyone knows that witches can't have babies because the constant pressure of the broomstick handle on their perineum renders them infertile. Happy Halloween!
Ummm...can you hear my eyes rolling?
Truly goofy indeed. :o)
Nora
Okay. I'll live with this. At nineteen did you get your first job, rent your first apartment, have your first car wreck, - anything like that? I'm just trying to help because I can't handle nineteen more jokes likes this.
Ralph
Ah...cute jokes!!
"What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?"
"Men, Get in the BOAT!"
Put the keyboard down and step away from the blog!
Hooray, more jokes for grandchildren torturing! They expect to groan at all of Granny Annie's jokes and these will help cement those beliefs.
Ha, these are gems for a ten year old...I am gonna show these to my son;)
Oops I posted the Non-Halloween one.
OK, here is one...
Who protects our ocean ports on the last day of October?
.
.
.
.
.
wait
.
.
.
.
Here it comes...
THE GHOST GUARD!!!!!
LOVE them.
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