Thursday, October 18, 2007

eighteen goofy jokes

I thought I'd start today off with some Halloween jokes.

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
[and maybe hitting the side of the barn]

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream

What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Grandma monster

Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula

What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Have a goofy day!


crabbydad said...

You forgot:

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have halloweenies.

Which, of course, makes absolutely no sense, because everyone knows that witches can't have babies because the constant pressure of the broomstick handle on their perineum renders them infertile. Happy Halloween!

Kim said...

Ummm...can you hear my eyes rolling?

Truly goofy indeed. :o)

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Okay. I'll live with this. At nineteen did you get your first job, rent your first apartment, have your first car wreck, - anything like that? I'm just trying to help because I can't handle nineteen more jokes likes this.

Rachel said...

Ah...cute jokes!!

King Tiger said...

"What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?"

"Men, Get in the BOAT!"

Cliff said...

Put the keyboard down and step away from the blog!

Granny Annie said...

Hooray, more jokes for grandchildren torturing! They expect to groan at all of Granny Annie's jokes and these will help cement those beliefs.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Ha, these are gems for a ten year old...I am gonna show these to my son;)

King Tiger said...

Oops I posted the Non-Halloween one.
OK, here is one...

Who protects our ocean ports on the last day of October?
Here it comes...


Bella Rossa said...

LOVE them.