I'm finally reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I don't think I'm revealing any secrets if I tell you that Harry, Hermione and Ron are on the run. Ron's family is pretending that he is sick with Spattergroit* and confined to his room. There is a ghoul wearing Ron's pajamas and covered in angry purple blisters just in case anyone peeks in his room.
I woke up this morning looked in the mirror and took a double take -- Spattergroit!
I have icky oozy stuff on my face and arms and my right eye was swollen shut. I got on the phone to cancel my 7:30 speech and let Second Helpings know that I would not be there.
Luckily my doctor could see me this morning. I walked in to the office wearing giant sunglasses ala Mary Kate Olsen.
She asked me if I'd been around any poison oak lately. Of course not, I replied. She asked how I'd bruised my arm. I told here about the air conditioner accident, and getting tangled up in the ivy growing on my house. Ahh -- the "ivy."
It turns out the eye problem is not related to the poison ivy.
The tissue around my eye is infected -- don't think about it, its way too disgusting.
My eye has been a little swollen and weird for about a week. My doctor asked if I'd been touching my eye more than usual.
Ohhh, wait...Talk Like a Pirate Day. I would cover my eye to pretend like I had an eye patch.
I came home loaded down with 10 days of antibiotics, steroids, antihistamines, creams and eye drops. I hope that is the magic Spattergroit antidote.
Back to reading the book -- with one eye shut.
-update. I just found the antidote for spattergroit:
spattergroit - a malady which causes a person to develop spots on their face. A portrait of a medieval healer in the stairwell of St. Mungo's tried to stop Ron and tell him he had spattergroit. Ron angrily told the painting that it was only freckles, but the healer prescribed the following:
"[T]ake the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked at the full moon in a barrel of eels' eyes..."
I think I'll stick with my regimen of pills and Matlock re-runs.