Thursday, September 27, 2007

spattergroit* [updated]

I'm finally reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I don't think I'm revealing any secrets if I tell you that Harry, Hermione and Ron are on the run. Ron's family is pretending that he is sick with Spattergroit* and confined to his room. There is a ghoul wearing Ron's pajamas and covered in angry purple blisters just in case anyone peeks in his room.

I woke up this morning looked in the mirror and took a double take -- Spattergroit!

I have icky oozy stuff on my face and arms and my right eye was swollen shut. I got on the phone to cancel my 7:30 speech and let Second Helpings know that I would not be there.

Luckily my doctor could see me this morning. I walked in to the office wearing giant sunglasses ala Mary Kate Olsen.

She asked me if I'd been around any poison oak lately. Of course not, I replied. She asked how I'd bruised my arm. I told here about the air conditioner accident, and getting tangled up in the ivy growing on my house. Ahh -- the "ivy."

It turns out the eye problem is not related to the poison ivy.
The tissue around my eye is infected -- don't think about it, its way too disgusting.

My eye has been a little swollen and weird for about a week. My doctor asked if I'd been touching my eye more than usual.
Umm, no.
Ohhh, wait...Talk Like a Pirate Day. I would cover my eye to pretend like I had an eye patch.

I came home loaded down with 10 days of antibiotics, steroids, antihistamines, creams and eye drops. I hope that is the magic Spattergroit antidote.

Back to reading the book -- with one eye shut.

-update. I just found the antidote for spattergroit:
spattergroit - a malady which causes a person to develop spots on their face. A portrait of a medieval healer in the stairwell of St. Mungo's tried to stop Ron and tell him he had spattergroit. Ron angrily told the painting that it was only freckles, but the healer prescribed the following:
"[T]ake the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked at the full moon in a barrel of eels' eyes..."

I think I'll stick with my regimen of pills and Matlock re-runs.

8 comments:

Cliff said...

Man, I'm going to need a picture of this.

Cliff said...

Oh, about yesterdays blog. I'm glad you like the vibrators.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

It's amazing how one thing leads to another isn't it. Reading with one eye shut - that is pure talent.
Ralph

bad influence girl said...

Nora, it IS a full moon, so the time is right to try the other antidote. The eel's eyes might be a little tougher, though.

Kim said...

Sorry you have the itchies, Nora. That sucks.

I do have to say, though, that I'd take a bad case of the itchies over my impending colonoscopy next week. For sure.

Take care of yourself!

Jamie Dawn said...

Enjoy the final Potter book!! The last few chapters are brilliant. Taylor is currently reading it for the second time. He has a habit of re-reading Potter books, sometimes three or four times.

So, you're covered with oozing sores, and one of your eyes is swollen & gooopy.
You poor dear.
If the meds don't start working soon, I'd suggest giving that naked part a try. Your neighbors would get a kick out of it!!

Take care and get well.

Cliff said...

We will really need pics if you try the last one.

Spattergroit is usually caused by chasing cows with short whips.

Rachel said...

Have you been chasing cows?? Nah...I didn't think so!

Sounds horrid Nora! I do hope the antibiotics are helping. If not then you might try the naked thing but I don't know where you'll get all those eels eyes.