Friday, July 06, 2007

chocolate covered nora

...and not in a good way.

This is the first Friday of the month, which means art gallery festivities all over the city. I host an acoustic music series at the Harrison Center to coincide with their gallery opening.
I actually remembered it when I got dressed this morning. I wore my denim skirt (the famous skirt of this post. It does not look nearly as crazy with out the stripped knee socks), a black tee, Dansko Mary Jane shoes and some "artsy" jewelry. My plan was to stay downtown, meet my parents, sister Ann and her lovely husband Tim.

This morning I also remembered to take four packages of candy making chocolate to give to one of my coworkers. I just forgot to take it out of the truck.
Did I mention that it was 90 degrees today?

I slid into the drivers seat after work and noticed the packages of hot gooey mess on the passenger seat. I decided that I would pull up next to the dumpster and toss them. I grabbed them as I was opening my door. The chocolate started oozing out of the wrappers.
My reaction was to hold on tighter--squeeze harder.
It started squirting out of both ends of the packages -- all over me, the truck and the parking lot. Hot goopy chocolate running down my legs in to my shoes between my toes. Icky chocolate sliding down the door of the truck in to the pocket that holds my CDs. Chocolate all over the seat, floor mat and the carpeting. I actually burst in to tears. I'm not sure if it was the pain from the chocolate or wondering how I'm ever going to clean it up.
I was tempted to peel my clothes off right there. Fortunately/unfortunately that neighborhood is not unaccustomed to half naked crazy women walking by.
I had to head for home -- and almost crashed when my slimy foot slid off of the brake.
I'm skipped dinner for an attitude adjustment, but I'm ready to head back out for the music.
I do smell quite sweet.

I stuck my skirt in the freezer so the chocolate will harden.
If only I could do that to the truck.
How long would it take me to drive to Alaska?

8 comments:

Jerry said...

Nora,
I hope the chocolate comes out and that you didn't suffer 3rd degree burns. You are just a walking, talking Tide commercial, aren't you?

Cliff said...

Maybe you can get someone to eat the chocolate off of your feet. I'm not so inclined but I know there are those who would.
Sorry about all of this but it sure did make for entertaining reading.

nora said...

Cliff,
If anyone wanted to eat the chocolate off of my tired, sweaty, pissed-off feet I would have deemed them insane.
The inside of the truck is a mess, I'm still not sure how to clean it. If the temperature ever drops below 80 it will be a start.

Rachel said...

Oh you poor thing!! That is awful. Candy does not stand a chance in this heat!

susangillie said...

I worked in a candy factory one summer during college (Bon Ton Bakery), eeeeeew I feel your pain.

Chocolate in massive quantities and unbridled is an awful mess.

Our equipment broke down, the maple centers glopped together and the chocolate/peanut mixture spilled everywhere. We made 6-foot penises out of the maple centers while maintenance and the hated superintendent mopped up the chocolate.

You'll probably have to spend some dough, Nora, and go to a detailer.

There goes the Red Key tips.

Tee said...

LOL! I'm sorry for laughing. It's good to know stuff like this doesn't just happen to me though.

Good luck getting it cleaned up. I know that won't be fun.

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm sorry for having a good chuckle at your expense.
What happened would have been horrible if it happened to me, but since it happened to you, it is quite funny.
What a waste of all that fine chocolate!!
I would have been willing to have eaten the melted chocolate from inside the bag, but once it was all over the darned place, it became tainted.
I hope you got that mess cleaned up somehow.
I really do FEEL for you, even though I laughed at you.
I hope you enjoyed the music that evening and that it soothed your frantic soul.
You are the first person I have ever known that was assaulted by chocolate.

Bella Rossa said...

Mmm....chocolate.