nights with alice cooper

I just got home from work (midnight-ish). I did work-work until about 8:00, then worked on my NUVO piece.

I always freak myself out being in that big building alone and walking out to my car in the sketchy neighborhood.
It's not even that that neighborhood is so scary, but it is very industrial--and empty.
There is a day shelter for homeless people across the street and sometimes folks sleep behind my building.
It is misty and foggy tonight and I didn't think to move my car closer to the door.

Anyway...I made it to the car okay...slammed and locked the door and turned the key.
Then got really freaked out.

Alice Cooper was on the radio singing a Neil Young song--and bungling the words.
It's not that Alice Cooper is so scary (although a good argument can be made for his creepiness), but I blush wildly and get an instant stomachache when I hear him.

I have not found the way to express how goofy I was as a child.
I came close the other day when I mentioned that I was too nerdy for the marching band kids to hang out with in high school.
We did not have a record player, watch TV or listen to the radio at home.
AVS said that I grew up "a car and a light bulb" from being Amish.
I was way behind in pop culture.

I was invited to a slumber party in seventh grade.
I'm sure it is because we rode the same bus and her mom made her.

At the party the other girls were looking a records and talking about music.
Janet Ware asked me if I liked Alice Cooper.
I said "Yes, she is my favorite!"
Nail in the nerd coffin.

The rest of the night was long and painful.
Not that the girls were mean, I just had nothing to add to the conversation about boys, music and makeup.

Ironically I now write about music.

I missed out on bubble gum pop, Canadian folk musicians and glam rock.
I also missed out on the Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

In college I went from zero to punk-rock.
I have a Joey Ramone poster on my office door (okay--the back of the door).
I had three pairs of Doc Martens, wore ripped fishnets stockings with short skirts and had a biker jacket (actually all of those things can still be found in my closet).
I made a pilgramage to CBGB before it closed.

I've become a bit of a hipster when it comes to music. I was at the first Lollapoolaza, saw Nirvana play in an abandoned warehouse in Philadelphia, Willie Nelson in an old theatre, been to countless Red Hot Chili Peppers shows, saw Prince play at a local bar after his big stadium show and Yo La Tengo cover a song of the college band I was in.
Countless angst-ridden singer/songwriters have crashed on my sofa.
I try to keep up on the new music--emo, goth and scarf rock.
I don't like all of it, but I appreciate that people are making it.

And Alice Cooper still makes me fell like I'm thirteen years old--and not in a good way.

At least I know now that it is just plain wrong that he's singing a Neil Young tune.
And Mr. Alice...it's "old man take a look at my life" not "take a look at my wife."
Even I know that.