On social media I see so many friends tackling big projects while they're sheltering at home. Making quilts, painting furniture, landscaping, homeschooling, cleaning out their garages.....doing big stuff.
Even though I'm still working full-time at
Second Helpings, I'm not working Saturday nights at the
Red Key or the occasional Sunday at
Marigold. I don't have any writing deadlines, I can go to
Mass on my own schedule, and any concerts or parties have been cancelled.
Since I have an abundance of energy in regular times, you'd think I'd channel it and all of my free time into painting the house or starting a novel or scanning the boxes of photographs in my closet or writing letters or organizing my Christmas ornaments or cataloging the PEZ collection....or even keeping up with Words With Friends and birthdays greetings on Facebook.
Nope.
I spent the first few weeks overwhelmed and tired.
Second Helpings is doing amazing things and we were working seven days a week in a combination of onsite and at-home shifts and conference calls and planning.
Leaving the house and coming home felt exhausting. I leave my shoes and anything that I was bringing home on the porch, take my clothes off inside the door, run to wash my hands, sanitize the door knob and my keys, toss my clothes down the laundry chute, shower, sanitize my watch and jewelry and glasses, start laundry, sanitize my purse and lunch bag on the porch and fall into bed.
Not that I was sleeping well. I was waking up several times a night in a panic - taking my temperature and realizing that I was hot because the cat was laying on my head or was shivering because the blankets had fallen away. Worrying about
COVID-19 symptoms messes with you dang head.
I've certainly settled down. Work has evened out. It's a true testament to how nimble Second Helpings is that we pivoted overnight in how we deliver meals to the community. Not to mention doubling the number of people that we're serving.
I'm sleeping (mostly) through the night and I no longer obsessively take my temperature (now just before I leave the house).
I was feeling guilty that I didn't have a good answer to the question that invariably comes up in Zoom meetings, "what are you doing to keep yourself busy?" Answering "laundry and keeping the cat alive" doesn't seem ambitious enough.
I finally realized that getting through this is a big enough accomplishment in itself. In order to quit feeling like an underachiever I've given myself a list of small things that I can do to feel like I've accomplished something.
This evening I separated a jar of coins from the buttons, pocket lint, and safety pins that had collected there. I went as far as rolling the pennies and separating the Euros from the Canadian coins.
Look at me go!
